Aging and the Freedom to Wonder and Wander… The Road Not Taken

PART 1 ARTICLE 11 AUDIO FILE IN FOOTER

No, I will not be channeling my inner Robert Frost, though, God knows, it may well morph into some flowery poetic expression by the time I finish.  Today, I’m reflecting on those countless moments when I’ve missed my destination exit, only to find myself headed to an entirely different state! Can anyone else relate?

Sometimes, my “happy place” calls to me so intensely that my intended destination fades into the background. In my younger years, this tendency to miss turns might’ve led to a string of self-abusing expletives, which of course, didn’t do anyone much good!  I learned long ago to always add extra time to my travel plans, respecting this unique quirk of personality.

One of the many underappreciated joys of aging and retirement is the newfound freedom from rigid schedules, deadlines, and never-ending to-do lists. What a sense of release it brings! No longer driven by career, child-rearing, or endless responsibilities, retirement lets us pause and live on our own terms.

Now, I drive with the tranquil smile of the Buddha himself, catching glimpses of life around me — the clever license plate of a car, a rainbow flag waving from a bridge, or a family letting their kids run free by the roadside. Memories flood back, but today, I cherish the quiet reverie, the moments of stillness that these “detours” bring, filling me in mysterious and touching ways. Had I not missed the exit, I might have missed these beautiful encounters entirely.

Lost in Thought…

Just recently, on my way to meet my dear friend June for her doctor’s appointment, I was reminded of the realities of aging, illness, and the fragility of life. June is facing a difficult journey with multiple myeloma. My thoughts were also with Jen, another close friend grieving the recent loss of her 30-year-old daughter to breast cancer.

En route, I stopped for my usual Dunkin’ Donuts medium iced cold brew with four shots of cream and two French vanilla swirls, only to find my Dunkin’ card inactive due to yet another fraud alert on the credit card linked to it. With no cash on hand, I spent several minutes wrestling with my phone to try and resolve it, before it finally hit me (DUH!)—I could simply use a different card. I finally got my much-needed coffee and continued my journey to June’s appointment.

As I drove, my mind was preoccupied (as you now know is its natural state), with thoughts of June and what she will face in her fight with cancer. I wondered how best to support her through treatment, to show her that she is deeply loved and will never be alone. Terminal illness has a way of stripping away life’s illusions, leaving us vulnerable to the profound awareness of our impermanence.

Next, having forgotten that I already bought my coffee, I stopped in a bank drive through to get some cash… to buy coffee.

As I drove away, I was deeply engrossed in searching my heart for the right words to comfort Jen in her grief. Losing a child is unbearably tragic, and as we age, these reminders of life’s finite nature seem to come closer and closer. The fragile thread of existence becomes all too visible.

Moments later, again completely lost in my thoughts, I passed one Dunkin Donuts after another, finally landing in yet another DD drive through only to discover, in horror and humor, an untouched iced coffee sitting right next to me.  All I could do was laugh, self-abusing expletives no longer apply

Thankfully, I had left early enough to still make it to June’s appointment on time. In my younger days, I might have scolded myself for being such a “space shot,” but now, I find myself thankful for a brain that actually seems to thrive in these wandering moments.

Appreciating the Freedom of Aging

These moments that once led to frustration now feel like a privilege, a reminder of the freedom that comes with age. Retirement offers us the mental space to wonder and wander, to embrace reverie, and to contemplate life’s deeper aspects—impermanence, death, and acceptance.

Life’s journey becomes less about strict destinations and more about the fleeting moments we encounter along the way. Aging grants us the freedom to slow down, embrace the pauses, and discover beauty and wisdom in life’s unexpected detours.

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