A Soulmate and the Healing Power of Unconditional Love… My One True Friend

PART 1 ARTICLE 10 AUDIO FILE IN FOOTER

I hope this piece evokes memories of someone who offered you unconditional love, a true friend who became a hero in your life, shaping who you are today. Reflecting on such a person fills the heart with peace and affirms the incredible healing power of human connection.

For me, that person was Merle.

Merle was a psychiatrist and director of the mental health center where I began my career as a psychiatric social worker. Initially, as a work-study student at UMass Amherst, I helped run medication support groups with patients facing profound mental health challenges, including psychotic, bipolar, and cognitive struggles.

Working closely with about 140 patients, my role was to assess their emotional and functional states —essentially hanging out and offering support wherever I could. When I started, I was unsure of what to expect, but it didn’t take long for the negative stereotypes of mental health patients to dissolve. The patients weren’t just cases; they were beautiful, complex individuals haunted by inner turmoil. With time, being given care and attention, they blossomed before my eyes. The simple act of being seen, heard, and loved had a profound impact; they began to heal. That healing was reciprocal; through connection, I found personal growth.

Each day, we debriefed under Merle’s psychiatric supervision, exploring medications, dosing, and efficacy. But with Merle, it was always more than clinical talk. He saw beyond diagnoses, seeing patients as I did —souls in need of love, understanding, and true compassionate care.

Psychiatry was his art form; he skillfully combined science with empathy, knowing that healing extended far beyond prescriptions. His patients left his care not only with treatment plans but with a feeling of being valued and understood.

Could I have had a better role model? Merle was a mentor and more. We shared a belief in the importance of a compassionate community and the healing power of human connection. This philosophy inspired me to start “The Social Club,” a gathering space where patients connected meaningfully every Friday. This became one of the most heartwarming experiences of my life.

In this space, our patients weren’t seen as the “scary pariahs” society often deemed them. This club transformed them, giving them purpose and belonging, showing that even individuals facing severe challenges could love and help each other profoundly. One memorable day, my old Pontiac’s exhaust system failed. I told the group we couldn’t meet again until I figured out how to pay for repairs with only my meagre work-study salary as inspection was due in a few weeks. The next week, Jim, one of our healthier clients, came to me in a panic that his car had broken down and he needed to pick up his wife at the airport immediately. I handed him my car keys and Jim literally roared away.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group, about 30 people that day, was unusually cheerful, whispering and smiling as if they were up to something. When Jim returned, my car was purring like a kitten. These kind souls, all on disability with little to spare had pooled together enough money to fix my car. It was their way of giving back, of showing love — the healing power of human connection. It’s a moment that lives on in me, proof of their capacity for empathy.

When I graduated with my psychology degree, Merle hired me to start a full-time Day Treatment Center. We both knew that real healing – not just curing-was likely to happen in this environment. Though I offered various programs and classes, the true value of the center was that it provided a place where these now connected souls could come daily, drink coffee, hang out, help each other, love and be loved in return. Everyone needs a purpose, and in this place, they found one. Medication helped manage their symptoms, but human connection healed their spirits.

Merle and I shared countless hours together. We were both passionate about giving our patients the best lives possible, despite their burden of mental illness. He illuminated my love for humanity, encouraging me to embrace my unique worldview. He made me believe in myself, eventually leading me to become a doctor.

Although Merle was 28 years older than me, he became my best friend. We talked about life, love, and the beauty of simple things—the smell of wildflowers, the softness of ferns, the serenity of the ocean breeze. His annual gift of vibrantly colorful garden for my birthday was a quiet yet breathtaking gift. He even gave me the friendship of his eldest daughter, Jaimye, who became one of my dearest friends.

With Merle’s encouragement, I found confidence in myself and pursued a career in medicine. He believed in me and pushed me to pursue dreams I thought were out of reach. He gave me the unconditional love and support I had longed for. Though our age difference made a lifelong partnership impossible, Merle’s impact on my life was immeasurable.

Our paths naturally diverged when I started medical school but the love we shared never faded. Merle passed many years ago, but I still feel his presence, guiding and caring for me in countless ways. I will be forever inspired by his compassionate legacy. He was my true friend; someone who knew my heart without needing words and loved me unconditionally. In every sense, he was my soulmate.

As Bette Midler sings:

“Though love may break, it never dies. It changes shape, through changing eyes. What I denied, I now can see. You always were the light inside of me. In the end, you were my one true friend.”

Show a little love and give a share...