
PART 1 ARTICLE 17 AUDIO FILE IN FOOTER ♫
In a previous post, *Longing to Return to What Never Was*, I explored the complex journey of seeking unconditional love within our family of origin, a search that often brings sadness when we cling too tightly to this ideal. Today, I want to expand this concept of unconditional love — those moments of genuine connection and acceptance we can find all around us.
The image above is of Seanelle, my favorite bartender in Provincetown, whose infectious joy fills every shared moment with his patrons. Provincetown itself has a unique sense of community, where love, humor, and companionship thrive. Each time we meet, it is as if we’re reuniting in a joyful movie scene —running to each other in slow motion and sharing a heartfelt hug. Seanelle often tells the bar I was his first customer years ago, sparking laughter and nostalgia. Even as he changes workplaces, I always find him as I am first in a long line of Seanelle groupies.
Is this connection love? Indeed, it is.
Is it unconditional? Absolutely.
Experiencing snippets of unconditional love becomes easier in relationships where we are free from daily responsibilities or expectations. I have several bartenders like Seanelle across the world — from Massachusetts to Antigua’s floating Kon Tiki Bar and Grill, where I have met lovely, caring, and fun people from all over the world. The fact that these relationships exist only in the moment does not detract from the lasting joy of love shared.

I am always welcomed with laughter and open arms. A sociable, long-distance swimming, white-haired lady with a broad smile can get away with pretty much anything without fear of untoward attention. The term character comes to mind. Oh my God, I have grown up to be a character! What freak-flag-flying fun!
Why I choose bars for these veritable love fests is up for interpretation. I am a lightweight when it comes to alcohol consumption (except when my friend Jack is around, he’s the devil). It is the humans, with their stories and life experiences, for which I thirst. It is in these unusual places that I get little hits of unconditional love, making life so rich and fun.
I am not suggesting you all become afternoon bar hounds (though I’d love for you to join me!). But engaging with others — whether in pickleball, mahjong, golf, knitting circles, or anything else — promises a more love-filled life. There is nothing more precious than that.
Friendship: The Sweet Spot of Unconditional Love
Friendships bring an entirely different flavor to unconditional love. Unlike family relationships, friendships often come with fewer expectations, creating a safe space for acceptance, support, and laughter. With our closest friends, we find moments of presence and companionship that endure. From comic relief and hugs to simple acts of being totally present, friendship becomes a peaceful oasis. I don’t think I could endure my life without these few precious people.

I have made a point of staying in touch with childhood and high school friends. Meeting now for lunches, we laugh uncontrollably, as we did back in the day, with an appreciation for all we have gone through to become the people we are today. As a social worker, I was gifted with the understanding that unconditionally loving human connection will always be the best therapy anyone can ever have. Experiences in medical school, where friends supported one another through exhaustion and insecurity, forged bonds of love that will last a lifetime.

As a doctor, the nurses with whom I have had the honor to work not only made me a better doctor, but our mutual respect is a strong foundation for unconditional love. Neighbors, sports parents cheering all our kids on, and so many people met randomly during this long-life journey have convinced me that unconditional love can be found literally everywhere.
Soulmates
Soulmates, in my view, are not confined to a romantic ideal. They are the rare individuals who know us deeply and love us unconditionally. Soulmates seem to know one another before any words are spoken. A sense of destiny forms the foundation of these relationships. They challenge us to grow, share in our joy, and bring a sense of everlasting presence to our lives. They inspire me to write more about them and I will even though it will be a daunting task to do them justice.

I am better, happier, and more fulfilled for having had all these people in my life — from partners dancing on tables in the Caribbean to Provincetown bartenders to soulmates and everything in between.
Reflecting on the people who have shared their love with you, and you with them, can inspire a renewed appreciation for the companionship and joy they bring. Love — pure, simple, and present — is everywhere if we look for it.